I Do to the Open Bar
LIMITED EDITION: HOPEFULLY EVER AFTER
We now pronounce you Hopefully Ever After!!! Awww, marriage. A (semi) sacred union where you (partially) commit to someone til death (or divorce) do you part, while looking stunning (in an outfit you'll never wear again) in front of your (bored, jealous or drunk) loved ones, it is truly a (semi) magical moment you will remember (mostly) fondly for (part of) your whole life! (Free exchange if you get divorced! J/K, you're one of the 50% that's going to make it...hopefully.)
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS
Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).
INTRODUCING I DO TO THE OPEN BAR
Do you, lonely single person, take this boring wedding's open bar, to be your nightlong partner, to perch at and abuse, from this moment forward, for happy-drunk and for sad-drunk, for awkward comments to friends and for awkward comments to strangers, in sickness tonight and in sickness tomorrow, to love deeply and to twerk on top of, till security drags you out of the banquet hall kicking and screaming?